Archive for May, 2015

Don Quixote’s honour!

posted by Lenny Spangberg @ 16:17 PM

“My honour is dearer to me than my life!” cried Don Quixote whilst charging at the windmills with his lance…

This handsome Utopian knight travelled across the Iberian Peninsula with the sole intention of defeating evil.

My own adversaries were not so mythical. They fought me bitterly and for a long time putting at risk all that I had built from scratch, all that I wanted to leave to my children. But more importantly, they damaged what was for me, just like for Don Quixote, most important in my life: my honour.

Although this remained unchanged in the eyes of those closest to me, those who continued to believe in me, it was tarnished in the eyes of others for a while.

I have never been able to avoid or remain insensitive to this kind of scrutiny as I have to admit a weakness for being liked and liked by all. The disdain of a single person, whoever that may be, makes me doubt myself.

That is why throughout my life I have tried to be “kind”, to be a man who people like, a man who it is impossible to despise. So do I need to say how much the doubts, the open or hidden critiques, the turned faces, the “friends” laughing at no longer being friends, the formal accusations and the ostracism really hurt me?

I experienced, despite the unfaltering presence of a few faithful friends, a new solitude that I had spent my whole life avoiding. This first withdrawal into myself protected me and allowed me to open my eyes. I started to have doubts about humanity, I read and quoted Machiavelli. And then the pain eased. I gained strength. I got back on my horse ready to charge at my windmills. And I won!

The French judicial system, despite taking a long time, ruled in my favour at the Commercial Court in Antibes and then again at the Court of Appeal in Aix-en-Provence. Finally, after several years, the Court of Appeal returned my broken honour to me with a simple and definitive ruling.

“What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger,” cried Nietzsche in Ecce Homo before sinking into madness. His words are surely true, however, I would add, “that which doesn’t kill you damages you and yet it also makes you stronger.” This is the price we pay for the armour we cover our wounds with. This is life!

That which is damaged is repaired. Despite nothing being the same as before. I come out of this stronger, harder, the winner of this fight. I am also relieved and appeased. I am no longer fighting to survive. I have found my thirst for life once more. I intend to travel the world, to discover it again. I will share this joy with you. That is the advantage of a storm, the sunshine when it breaks is blinding.

I thank with all of my heart all those who have loved and supported me. Keep on doing it!

Long live life, love and honour!